Lynn: It's squash for breakfast! [joking]Me: Everyone's going to eat squash. Rex: I don't like squash. Me: Pumpkin is a squash. Rex: I don't like squash. Ben: Pumpkin is a squash. You like pumpkin. So you do like squash. Rex: I don't like pumpkin.
I'm turning 40 in 9 days, and I know what I'm getting from my birthday. From Ben, at least. Ben started wearing underwear on Saturday; he was ready, and he is doing terrifically well. But he's concerned about my underwear. It's plain and white. He said, "I'll get you Thomas the Tank Engine underwear for your birthday, daddy." It's a deal!
Ben: Can you take a picture of me buying the monster truck at the dentist's office? [It was given to him, but I get the notion.]
Glenn: That happened in the past. I can't take a picture of what happened in the past. I would have had to have taken a picture of it then. Does that make sense?
B: Some day I want to go there, the past.
G: The past is what happened yesterday, or when you were younger. We can't go there.
B: Some day when I'm bigger I want to go there.
After some more back and forth, it becomes clear he thinks the "past" is another word for the dentist's office.
This evening Ben asks to see some pictures on the computer of himself and some other things. I say, sure, I'll show you on the little computer (the iPhone). He says, no, the big computer (the laptop). I say fine, and pull it down.
We start looking through photos:
Ben: Tap the picture with your little finger [gestures with his finger at the screen]
Daddy: Let's not touch the screen, Ben.
Ben: Tap the picture!
Daddy: [figuring it out] Ben, do you mean the finger on the little hand that changes from the arrow when I move over a photo?
Ben has figured out the user interface. In Flickr, the arrow cursor is replaced by a "Mickey Mouse" hand (a white glove with four fingers, three curled and one pointing). Ben wanted me to "tap" (a good word) the picture with the gloved hand's "little finger."
Someone in Cupertino is smiling right now.
As transcribed by Lynn:
[Daddy]: Yes, I have a beard. You know, someday, Ben, you'll have a beard too. How old do you think you have to be to have a beard?
[Ben] You have to have a beard to drink some beer.
[Ben] Want more brussels sprouts!
Yes, dear readers, Ben likes brussels sprouts. He also eats edamame beans (steamed soy beans), green beans, green peas, cauliflower, broccoli, beets, asparagus, and other improbable toddler foods. We don't pander, we only force a little, but we have this little deal these days. "If you want some watermelon, you have to eat your ______." That is, "If you want one healthy fresh food, you have to first eat another healthy, fresh food."
It won't last.
In the bath tonight, after I took Ben to an after-hours doctor visit (he's fine; just has a virus):
Lynn: [singing] Goofball, Armor Goofball, What kind of kid likes Armor Goofball?
Ben: Want to stay here instead.
Lynn: Instead of what?
Ben: I don't want to hear singing.
Daddy: [fallen on floor, laughing hard, can't readily rejoin]