In a story that could have appeared in any regular issue of The Onion, a cover story in the New York Times offers this great headline: So, It's a Lighthouse. Now, Leave Me Alone. The rest of the story also reads like it's ripped from The Onion. The guy, the last civilian lighthouse tender, was inadvertently turned into a media star after an NPR piece mentioned him. The lack of real news in the world (???) has led dozens of reporters to his doorstep. The poor guy's 85 years old! Leave him alone already!