Too much death and threats of death in a kiddy film. King Neptune was flat. Extended ice cream bar scene was extremely awesome, especially sugar-drunk SpongeBob behavior. Broken framing mechanism involving pirates abandoned by end. Scary parts which were unappealing. All major characters from series given cameo or highly limited roles--missing Sandy, especially, given that she's a sea monster fighter. David Hasselhoff rocked, especially the long scene on his back, butt, and legs. I give it 3 chum buckets or 1 1/2 krabby patties.